I had this dream that I was at UCLA and I met these two asian guys living down my hall. One of them was French, and had this French accent and it sounded really cool. He asked what my accent was, and I was like "... American?" lol. Later everyone got on this shuttle (and I guess he spoke Shanghainese cuhs I could understand it lol), and he was saying to his Mom "I met these two annoying people (meaning me and his roommate). I'm glad." And I was happy cuhs I made frieeeends. (`8
Anyhow, I really wish I was better at holding grudges sometimes.
Me: Wtf Kevin, you didn't tell me you had an adult class. D8Him: Ahaha yeah I know I felt bad about that, but I knew if I told you you wouldn't have done it!
Lol probably. Anyhow, he brought me another cookie. It's occurred to lately me that I'm not being healthy about my eating schedule, but I dunno. Five more pounds and I'll fix itttt.
So yesterday Ken imed me saying he wanted to visit North today. And I said I couldn't because I work in the morning. And he said ooooor we could just go after school. So after school it was! I have to get a transcript anyway (BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW WHAT RANK I FINISHED ATTTT). Now, by after school I thought he meant like, 2:50pm. So I was all getting ready to go when he tells me he meant 4pm. So I'm like ... oh. Okay I guess. Anyhow, so we go at 4pm, and there is no one there. Literally all the teachers are gone. -____- Nice planning there, Ken. Also, our locker combinations don't work anymore. D8 ... And someone finally wrote in the number for my locker lol. 1071, in pretty, girly writing.We ended up going to the tennis courts, because Ken suddenly remembered Emily was there. We met Sam Koda there, and Craig was there helping out with girls tennis so we talked to him for a long time. I missed that kid; he was a really nice guy. I remember the first day I switched into 5th period enviro, I was really miserable, and he was just really nice and talked to me. Anyway, we stayed there til maybe almost 5:30-ish, and then I drove Craig and Ken home. It's funny; when we were leaving the gates, we saw Ronnie and I called out to him, and he didn't recognize me at all lol. And then later Craig said he didn't recognize me either when I called him over. That totally surprised me, but I guess I have the shorter hair, and I'm dressing a little differently. My shadow of a tan's already fading so I don't suppose it could be that lol.
Also, by the time we went to the office for my transcript, it was already all locked up. |:
I finally heard back from the lady, and I didn't get the job. I was definitely sad at first (although oddly enough, I think I was sadder that I didn't really have anyone to confide in than the fact that I didn't get the job), but I'm going to positive about this. I'm going into a major that I'm not sure I even want to be in, so work study is really my only opportunity to explore my options. I'm going to take advantage of this. I'm not sure how well it'll work out, especially considering I'm not exactly in a position to be picky with my choices, but I'm going to try to just apply for jobs that interest me. Something involving photoshop, maybe.
I finally got a shoelace and stringed up the waist of my sweatpants. Because they're huge and keep falling down. And I don't want them to fall down anymore once I'm at UCLA. |:--
I realized today (as I stated earlier) that I'm terrible at holding grudges. Which seems odd, because I've definitely done it before, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Like I said before, I'm constantly changing my mind about people and things. I do feel silly though, because I always have this flying urge to run out and apologize. But maybe that's where I went wrong last time. No apologies for the emotions I feel, because there is a live, beating, legitimate reason for why I feel the way I do. Even if I'm not upset, I stand by the things I said. I definitely write some of those pieces out of anger, and sometimes I do want the people I address to see what I say because I want to hurt them like they hurt me. But when the anger falls away, all that's left are words designed to hurt. Which is why it's gone now.
No apology this time though. No apologies for the feelings that I feel. I don't like having unresolved issues in my life, especially now since I'm right about to leave, but it'll be okay. As someone once said to me, "everything will work out, one way or another."
PS: Watch me change my mind again in another five days, hurhur.
