316.

I got out of bed and then fell back down because MY LEGS AND MY ASS WERE SO SOOORE FROM RUNNING YESTERDAY.

I was digging for my keys in my purse this morning and OMG MY VOODOO BABYYYY. ;OOO; This makes me so sad. Also, somewhere, someone's arm is in pain lol.

Yes, I stuck this there. I am a genius. I went into the office at the end of my break and asked Art if I could stick another schedule at the lifeguard station by the backroom because I feel so awkward going all the way over to the other side of the pool, where the other guard is sitting (not in this case cuhs it's Jennifer, but in other cases), just to look at the schedule and then walk all the way back. And yes. I am really proud of what I've accomplished here today. ;D

The 100ft ethernet cord is here! (8 Andy's getting the blue one that came last Thursday and I'm getting this one since it's longer.

Uncle got right to work attaching these hooks onto the wall for the cords. Pretty legit stuff.

I went running today. Well, not for all of it; I'm completely out of shape so you can't expect me to just grab my sneakers and run out the door. "White Houses" on repeat, because it's how I feel set to somewhat uplifting music. I saw something earlier, and it killed me. I hate that sickening, gut-wrenching feeling that reaches all the way to the pits of your stomach. So I went running. I've learned emotional pain's the worst kind of pain, so I replaced it with something physical. It sounds a little sick, but I wanted that kind of pain. I wanted to feel the burn in my throat and the ache in my stomach and that feeling like you're about to suffocate as you gasp for air and your chest expands and it burns all over again. And it worked, I think. I looked at it again and I just felt numb.

My legs are shaking now.

Afterwards, Ken came over. We made plans with Frank to hang out, and since neither of them knew what to do, I decided to drag them to Del Amo with me since I really need to get started on Jen's scrapbook lol. ... And then Frank was 30 minutes late since apparently Jacob wanted to tag along, so he went to pick up him and Gloria lol.

... Cough. Mom wanted me to pick up some new sunglasses for her since her old ones broke, and we stopped by a lot of places, since Forever 21 didn't have anymore, and that was my main go-to place for sunglasses. Ended up picking them up at Love Culture. (8

And then we went to Joann for the scrapbook. The guys got really excited by all the Halloween stuff lol.

Frank drove me over to Seafood Port cuhs it's Uncle's birthday and the family's eating there (... except they weren't even there yet, so I waited in the car for another ten minutes before letting them go lol). They were talking about what they wanted to get for dinner, and they were talking about just eating at Seafood Port, and Jacob offered to go grab a takeout menu to see how much stuff was. And then when he left, Frank reparked the car somewhere else hahahaha.

Anyhow, I couldn't really eat much at dinner; no appetite at all, which is weird since I didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Andy bought me an Arizona, but I didn't feel like drinking it, and just ended up bringing it home. I just felt pretty down. I guess the running didn't fix everything after all.

... I thought it meant Mom, but it turned out to be Billy. Mom was no help at all; I think I felt worse lol.

We all went back home for cake afterwards; I didn't have any of that either.

Frank and them were supposed to pick me up after they finished dinner so we could all play Wii at Frank's house (apparently his parents are in Vegas lol). ... But they didn't. -___-; And I texted Ken, and I guess he just went home, so I was like oh well. Because after all, do I really want to be stuck with Frank and Jacob (and Gloria, but she was pretty quiet today) lol.

But anyway. Brett wasn't online (he was taking an afk day lol) so I talked to Billy for a long time. And as much as I'd like to just bottle up all my emotions and try to forget about everything, I really can't do that, because it all ends up exploding in my face at some point. A good cry + someone to listen is what I need. So thank you to all the boys who've been talking me through all this. ♥ (It's funny how I turn to guys to comfort me; maybe it's because when I think of talking to my girl friends I think of what happened with Jennifer last time hahah.)